Ron
“You have a choice of how you’re going to react and what you’re going to do”
The best piece of advice Ron received after testing positive for HIV was from his therapist 11 years ago: “Forget everything you think you know about HIV and instead learn what HIV is in the present.”
This advice held true as any perceived consequences Ron had when he was first diagnosed never materialized. He knows now that his HIV has become a chronic condition, and it’s not likely to affect his longevity with continued medical care and treatment. He says he spends a lot more time thinking about his other health conditions and less so on his HIV status: “I know it’s possible to live my life with HIV.”
While his diagnosis doesn’t usually impact his health day to day, the experience has influenced how Ron approaches his life.
“I’m the guy in the room that reminds everybody, in as gentle a way as possible, that in every moment of every day, you have a choice of how you’re going to react and what you’re going to do.”
Since his diagnosis, he has pivoted careers, enrolled in a seminary program, and started giving back to the HIV/AIDS community – leading conversation groups, teaching breathwork classes, and helping out at fundraisers.
Even as Ron has come to terms with his status, he’s aware that stigma and misconceptions persist, despite advancements in HIV care. He’s familiar with those difficult disclosure conversations and the anxiety of not knowing how the other person will respond.
Ron was about six months into a new relationship when he first found out about his HIV status.
“I had fallen in love with him and having to tell him was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” Ron said. “My greatest fear was that he was going to leave me.”
Ten years later, Ron and his partner are still happily together.
